This is My Brain on NaNoWriMo

Any questions?

(Boy, that Debbie Ridpath Ohi -- she gets me!)

Out of Nowhere

So, I'm driving home from Denver yesterday and I'm listening to some nice music that was sort of sad and thinking about things and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I notice that it's the 2 year anniversary of when my mother went into the hospital. She was in intensive care for about six days and then she died. When I got the phone call, 2 years ago yesterday, I made the stupid decision I'll always regret not to fly out until the weekend because I was just a few weeks into a new job and I was worried about taking the time off. As a result, I never got to see my mother conscious before she died.

I was thinking about all of that and also re-living the moments before her death when she was given the last rites, and remembering made my chest hurt and then I started to cry. Not the little I feel sad so tears leak kind of crying, but the kind where you make noise and you can't help it.

It was pretty amazing to me that I could be driving along one moment and then succumb to complete mental and emotional anguish. I thought, wow, I'm walking around everyday with feelings like this just below the surface?

Basically, I couldn't stop crying for the next 4 hours or so. That was not a fun Friday night. I woke up this morning with big, swollen eyes and a feeling not unlike sore muscles in the area of my heart, which still has not gone away. Yep, feeling pretty crappy.

No desire to write. At all. Or do homework, either. So what else is new?

So, yeah. Grief, as I've said many times before, sucks.

Homework Blues

Homework and NaNoWriMo just don't mix.

If you think I'm behind in my wordcount, you should see my homework. Especially that darn math that just keeps piling up.

Sometimes I'm so stressed about it that I'm paralyzed and don't do either. Smart, huh?

At Last At First

I finally started my novel and got in a whopping 843 words!

I'm so happy.

Not sure what was going on. I think I needed the Kickoff to officially happen (it was so much fun) first. I wrote an outline at the Write In portion of the Kickoff and then deviated from it completely this morning.

I just woke up and suddenly I knew what I was going to write and how.

All Hail

To all those parents (mostly fathers...) who stood out on the cold streets of Colorado, with coat collars zipped up around their chins, hunching so their noses would be covered, gloved hands in pockets, watching their children run with wild abandon on darks streets in 17 degree temperatures: I salute you!

And I was standing next to you!

Another Halloween under the belt!

Blizzard 2006

I thought this curly little "wave" of snow was a good indication of that wind we heard howling all day yesterday!

Post Blizzard

I tried to go to work today, I really did. It took me 15 minutes to drive around the block, slipping all the way despite the good tires and traction control. The street was a sheet of ice. A cookie sheet, with high walls. About 3 inches thick. All ice.

So I came home, called in, and started on homework. It took about 4 hours, interrupted, and came out 18 pages long. That was one assignment for one class. It is a very tough class.

Then in the late afternoon I got cabin fever, so hubby and I went to run a few errands. (Son was playing at a friend's house, learning to snowboard on the kid's front lawn, it turns out.) It was nice to get out of the house, but we passed by many cars still in ditches and some new accidents involving cars without the good tires hitting an ice slick. We also drove over many high spots where, thankfully, the warm sun today had melted the snow enough for us to get over them. Who knows what would happen if we drove over those same spots now that the sun's gone down and the temperature's dropped.

I'm very glad I didn't go to work this morning.

We Had to Call It

Well, we were almost as stubborn as those Cardinals fans in the rain. We finally postponed the Kickoff party at 2:30 this afternoon.

Highways and major roads are closed, and the coffee shop's not answering their phone so I think they're closed as well. At any rate, there's ice under the snow and it's not a fit day to be doing any driving even in daylight!

I'm very bummed out.

Blizzard, Smizzard

Bleh, a blizzard is threatening our Kickoff Party scheduled for tomorrow. I'm still planning to go but of course if there's 6-12 inches of snow that may put a damper on anyone else showing up!

PJ Day

I don't know about this wearing your pajamas to school thing.

Today, as part of Dare to Say No To Drugs week, my son went happily off to school in his pajamas.

When I was dropping him off I saw the principal walking in the door dressed in his pajamas and a bathrobe. The sight will likely haunt me for many days.

Why would wearing your PJs out in public be considered a treat?

Heck, I have nightmares about doing that very thing!

Blood, Sweat and Tears

Yesterday I did algebra until my eyes bled.

Now that the software's working, I figure I'm going to have to do 1-2 assignments/night for the next full week to keep from flunking out.

Today I'm going to a writing seminar in Denver with a friend from NaNoWriMo. Fun. Speaking of NaNoWriMo, today's the first day to sign up for the 2006 event!

And Now for Something Political

President Bush threatened immediately after 9/11 to blow Pakistan up if they didn't help us? And this is supposed to surprise or even upset me?

Get real.

Monday, Monday

My son got home from his cub scout camping trip and his cough was much worse. Could it have been that 20 degree night air in the mountains?

This morning he looked awful so I took his temperature. It was normal. So I was literally walking out the door to take him to before-school care and he coughed and started wheezing so I said, "Grab your DS and get a book. You're going to work with me." I've never done that before. Luckily, there's an empty cube next to me since Mr. Recruiter took a hike so he just hung out there while I got through giving the new Sr. Director of Marketing his orientation. Then I got son into a 10 a.m. appt. and the dr. said, "Has he ever had asthma before?"

Two pharmacies, three Rx's, and a quick lesson in administering Albueterol later, I was home with him and quite exhausted. We ate lunch, watched a science channel documentary on volcanoes, and then the beagle lay on my stomach and lulled me into a power nap.

Now I'm trying to pick up the pieces of my day.

Oh, and in between pharmacies , the dry cleaner and the gas station (well, I was out...) I went by the gym and weighed in. I lost 5+ lbs. this week!

Happy Blogday

Hey, I just realized this blog is a year old this month. I know I'm terrible at blogging, but I just can't seem to give it up. This was supposed to be my public, NaNoWriMo, writing blog when I started it last year. I'm not quite sure what, if anything, it has morphed into.

I also have a blog that's not public here on Blogger so I can gripe openly about everything and name names. Actually, it's just one I started to fulfill the journaling requirement for my Advanced Creative Writing class this semester.

I still have my old LiveJournal, I think -- haven't been over there for a while. (Note to self: post on LJ so they don't delete it.)

And then I have a blog on ebay because they were having a contest for people to start blogs and I wanted to win some money. But I didn't. But I kept it anyway.

So, yeah. I'm all over the place.

I Hate Math

No, that's not true anymore.

My lifelong case of math anxiety seems to be going into remission these last couple of weeks, as I work my way through my Intermediate Algebra class (on the road to that elusive, transferable College Algebra.)

But, I do hate my math class. Not the teacher, she's nice, if a ditzy. No, it's really the format of the class I hate, and the fact that they cannot get their computer shit together. It is making me crazy.

I wasted half an hour waiting for pages to load today -- and I have a really quick Internet connection, even on my laptop when it's on the home network! It's not me. It's the server.

And, I don't have half an hour to waste.

I mean, no one does, do they?

It's FALL!

I've been waking up a little cold because the temperature drops overnight. I think fall is coming, which feels early but then again summer came very early this year, too. Autumn is my favorite time of the year, probably because I was born during this season.

Speaking of birthdays, yesterday when I was at my Saturday class at PPCC we had to introduce ourselves to our fellow students and say something about ourselves. The girl next to me says, "I'm going to be 21 next month." Do you know what I said to her? I said, "I'm going to be twice your age next month!"

As if a class every Saturday morning from now until December 13 wasn't bad enough, it's Math.

AND I'm twice the age (at least) of my classmates.

The agony.

Oxygen-less

I have a mean summer cold right now -- caught in St. Louis when I was visiting my IL's. I had to stay home in bed today which is a real bummer, but I can't really breathe and talking takes real effort. It's been busy at work, and I have a lot to do after being away for a week. Yesterday when I got to work, there was a stack of papers on my desk with a Post-It note on top of it. Written on the Post-It in bright red pen were the words, "Laurie, HELP!!!" Still, I was hacking and everyone told me how awful I looked so staying home today was a no-brainer.

I had so much fun in Indiana, the land of oxygen. It's such a pretty state -- no one ever talks about that, do they? It's green, with rolling grassy hills and cornfields as far as the eye can see. I love my college campus -- it's so very peaceful. I finished up meeting with my advisor and teachers, making a plan for the next two semesters, and I only had to buy one book! That was a real bonus.

I swear I was high on air when I was in Indiana. I had some free time so I shopped and found some great stuff that I love. St. Louis was nice, seeing family and all, but I was very glad to be coming home after the 6th day. AA lost my suitcase and delivered it yesterday; I haven't felt up to checking it but when I do there had better not be anything missing!

Of course, as soon as I was back here, my lungs shriveled to their usual low capacity in this high altitude, low oxygen mode. I swear I'm more stupid in Colorado, and it's all about the thin air!

Then, yesterday after work I had to go, sick and feverish as I was, to the local college and stand in many long lines on the first day of their classes so that I could see one of the Math teachers and beg to be bumped up into the next class. It was a big success: I had to take another test and I was so close to the passing grade (missed it by one) that he waived the pre-requisite for me anyway. So that means I only have to take 2 instead of 3 math classes to transfer to my IN college -- very good news. That I hate math with a passion goes without saying, doesn't it?

All of this points undeniably to the fact that summer's gone and fall, with its new semester and all, is here, but I am still in denial.

School blues

Summers around here are so short.

Tomorrow my little guy is back to school (*sob*) and will be in 4th grade. His school has no superintendent, a new first year principal, and no assistant principal. The new principal was bragging that they're only 100 students over the school's capacity this year!

I had to piss and moan at the new principal because my son got placed with The Mean Teacher. I've never asked for any favors and have put up with a lot at the school, but this was something I wasn't willing to let slide. So, tomorrow he's starting off in a different teacher's class and I'm starting off on the wrong foot with the administration; oh well.

I'm very grumpy about my son's school, can you tell?

"I have no idea"

That's what I'll be saying Saturday when we go to Antiques Roadshow in SLC and the appraiser asks, "Do you have any idea of the value of this item?" Being at ARS: one more thing to cross off of my list of Things to Do Before I Die! We're also celebrating our anniversary and it's always nice to go away for the weekend. I've already been to SLC a couple of times so no need to sight see, and it's supposed to be real hot there, too, so we'll probably be poolside when we're not at ARS.

Tomorrow I only have to work a half day as we're having the company picnic at noon and then get the rest of the day off, how cool is that? In other work news, I've just been made managing editor of the company newsletter, how fun is that? Cool. And, fun.

Almost Summer

I've found several great new local writing blogs and that has inspired me to visit my own, again. I'm pretty proud of my newsletter in progress, a project for one of my journalism classes, where I write about the local writing scene. Issue one will probably come out this weekend and as soon as it's graded I'll probably post it here. How's that for a tease?

So, this past week at work we put on a real live test of a summer curriculum, aka Vacation Bible School. It was awesome: 50 kids aged 5 to 11 for three and a half hours a day. I was in charge of onsite registration and as such got to come to work in a T shirt and shorts and sit out in the sun watching the parents and kids come and go twice a day. My own son was there, and he had a blast. Or, I should say, a bash. (A splash?) I got to leave early three of the five days to go home with him, which helped with my ever-present late-homework panic. (I turned in two assignments this week!)

The little guy started swimming lessons Monday. I'm going to start calling him Michael Phelps, truly. I only wish his genes were in his favor to have Phelps' long lanky build so that he could be a Olympian, too. Alright, he's my kid, but I can't believe what a natural he is in the water. We've have a super hot couple of weeks and the outdoor pool's open, too, so summer's definitely upon us!

Tonight we got home from a shopping trip in Denver and found our built in ice maker on the blink -- the freezer was making growling noises. It took my husband about 10 minutes to get the entire freezer section taken apart, and then another hour and a half after that to put it back together amid much colorful language and what I could swear was hyperventilating. I just hope it's fixed, as earlier today he worked on the printer which is shot. (Damn Epsons.)

Thing is, I came home tonight with some ice of my own, in the form of a more than a carat upgrade to my wedding ring! Yeah, I'm spoiled. It was my 15th wedding anniversary gift from dear hubby, and what a bummer that he's spent the rest of the evening with his head in the freezer.

Tomorrow we're going to the Zoo and, since I haven't been there in about 2 years, I'm really looking forward to it!