Saturday, December 24, 2005

Merry CHRISTMAS* Eve!

Wow, today is one of those authentic holidays. You know, the kind where you wake up and you can't figure out what day of the week it is because it is so obviously a banner day? I love this slightly disconcerting feeling -- it's very rare.

It is way warm today and the snow is all but melted, at least on my property. But, when we travel to our friend's house later, only a short drive away but 1k higher in altitude, they'll have snow on the ground! My son and I are going to make cut out sugar cookies and decorate them with some very cool decorations I got at Cost Plus, which include microscopic gingerbread men and Christmas tree lightbulbs. This will be my only holiday baking this year.

I'm happy to report that the Christmas cards have picked up and my door is almost covered! As most of them have come in the last two days, I'm beginning to suspect that the majority of my friends and family have converted to sending cards only once cards are received. Does anyone else see the problem with this?

I just this morning realized that, since my husband narrowly escaped having to work on Christmas Day, he has ten consecutive days off! I'm exceedingly jealous. I'm also encouraging him to take our son skiing at least overnight, but, like two peas in a pod, they're both resisting. Homebodies, unite. *Sigh.*

I work for a publishing company and last year we got a huge bag of, like, 30 of our books as a Christmas bonus. I was bummed out that none materialized this year. Yesterday, I was one of about 10 people** in the building working. It was quiet, but not nice and quiet.

We watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory last night. Is it just me, or was Johnny Depp's appearance, posture, and voice at the beginning of the movie chillingly reminiscent of Michael Jackson? Aside from the cool Oompa Loompas (chillingly reminiscent of Joe Pesci...) I prefer the original. Other than that, I'm still jonesin' for a good Christmas Carol movie -- I think there have been many on our 300+ channels but I haven't exactly had time to watch TV lately, and I fear I've missed my opportunity.

Okay, off to make cookies and feel smug that I don't have to be out shopping today!

*unapologetically politically incorrect
**gross exaggeration

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Holiday Cheer

Yesterday I got a phone call from my aunt in California. She told me she'd just gotten my Christmas letter and it was "so beautiful" and she loved it and had to just pick up the telephone and call me right that minute! Now, if you knew this particular aunt, the fact that we're not now and never have been close, and just how much she hates to call long distance, you could appreciate this more. Even if nothing else ever happens as a result of my love for writing, at least I have these moments.

Rediscovering CRB

I have just turned in a short story for one of my classes. I'm energized by it because I took the main character from my 2003 NaNoWriMo novel -- the one I actually finished and edited -- and wrote a section of his life. I remember my first writing mentor, when he heard I was going to attempt a novel, told me that he thought I should start with a short story. I'm doing it backwards, which is very like me, actually.

It reminded me of my experience the other day with a new jacket. I'd gone out shopping about a month ago and saw the most beautiful, red floral brocade jacket lined with velvet that I knew would look awesome with the long velvet skirt I was planning to wear to our company Christmas party. I bought it, and have been feeling remorse ever since. So much so that I kept the jacket wrapped in its tissue paper and secured with its gold foil stickers in the shopping bag on the floor of my bedroom until the day before yesterday. Then, I nervously pulled it out and tried it on -- at which point I fell in love with it all over again.

That's how I felt when I sat down to write about CRB.

I started from scratch, and it really was a new beginning as I'm sure I haven't read the book in more than a year and a half. Every time I write this character he ends up very dark, and it happened again! So I intentionally went back and injected some of the humor and affection I feel for him, and liked the result much better. I also wrote it first person. I'm eager to get feedback from the teacher.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Feliz Navidad

I mailed off my Christmas cards today, whew. I think this may be the latest I've ever sent them. Judging from the doorway where all the cards I've received typically hang, everyone else is running late as well.

This year I was suffering from the rampant inability to make a decision (probably leftover from November's fickle noveling experience...) so my loved ones will be receiving a card and a cheery holiday letter, plus many photos. If you'd like to receive the electronic version of my holiday greetings, comment or drop me a line.

Tomorrow's our department's Christmas get together. This year we're actually doing it at work rather than offsite, which is a bit of a bummer but infinitely more convenient. We're doing the gift exchange/steal the good gift thing, and snacking. I'm going to have to get up early to make guacamole, which I'm bringing as part of a running joke because several people who will be in attendance think only Californians eat the stuff.

Speaking of guacamole, I had a run-in with a real live redneck the other day. This hasn't happened in a while so I thought it worth mentioning. For those who don't realize it, I am of Hispanic descent, half or more depending upon whether or not you think Spain counts. I'm often told I don't look it, so I tend to get more redneck comments than I might otherwise.

Anyway, I was getting my hair done by C. and another woman, K., was too. K. was an out of work teacher and within the first five minutes she told us how important education was to her family, how well-educated she and her parents were, and how well-educated her fiance was, do you get the picture? Somehow we got on the subject of adoption, and K. informed us that her friend just adopted a baby. This is what she said:

"She is adorable. I mean, she's half Mexican, but still, she's really cute."

C. and I couldn't even look at each other for fear we'd lose it. C. also happens to be Hispanic -- how K. missed this I haven't a clue.

So, K. went on to ask me my salary, why I never had more kids, what I do for childcare and how much I pay for that, and then she wanted to know how old I was.

When I told her, she gasped and came and stood about 3 inches from my face so she could get a better look before declaring I didn't have my fair share of wrinkles. Then she wanted to know my "nationality."

I told her, and she didn't bat an eyelash. She then demanded to know if my husband was Mexican, too, or if he was white. Those were apparently the only two options. She then declared my youthfulness on the unfair advantage of my olive toned skin, and moved on to more important subjects, like asking me where she could get good Mexican food in town.

*Sigh*

Sunday, December 11, 2005

I was having a real pity party about feeling so sick with this crud, and then I talked to a friend who has this crud and has to travel to major metro area in the snow to take exams, not to mention study.

All I have to do is fake cheerfulness with my son and shirk household duties!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Ask Me About My Novel

A couple of people have asked me about my novel, Choosing My Confessions. To tell you the truth, I haven't even read it all the way through yet. But I can tell you what it's about:

A single young woman feels self-satisfied for not acting on her attraction to a married guy. She's very against the whole adultery thing because her dad broke up their family when he went that route. One day she finds out that this guy she's so busy sacrificing for is actually having an adulterous relationship with someone else right under her nose, plunging her into finally dealing with her father's betrayal. She decides she needs to get away and goes on the proverbial road trip to gather her thoughts.

My intention when I started the book was to have her run into some folks on the road who were more broken then she was, and she did. But instead of learning what she needed to from them and continuing on, she sort of collected them and formed unintended relationships with them. Most of them were more interesting than she was, anyway, so it wasn't such a bad thing. In the end, she learned what she needed to learn despite all the distractions.

Eh, it turned out pretty boring really, but I think I will give the whole story one more try now that I know who my main character is, or at least, who she isn't. Sometimes it takes thousands of words to get there, which is why NaNoWriMo can be so very valuable. I mean, would I have had the patience and drive (read: stubbornness) to write her until I understood her if I wasn't doing NaNoWriMo? I think not.

This NaNoWriMo burned me out unlike any other. The only writing I've done in the week since it ended is my annual Christmas letter. I've written about seven pages of that to come up with just the one page that I'll end up sending. Oh, and I've also written some school essays.

Pathetic, I know. But better than nothing.

Like A Scene From the Movies

One of my favorite DeNiro films is Midnight Run, and one of my favorite scenes from it is this one where an FBI honcho is eating lunch at a cafe counter and his flunkees come in to give him some news. He looks at them warily and asks, "Is this gonna upset me?"

That's how I felt a few minutes ago. I was making minestrone soup. Cooking a hot meal is one way I can wind down during an arctic storm, and smelling hot soup simmer is very gemutlich when it's 3 degrees and falling.

So I was just beginning to relax, and my son comes in to give me some news. He opens up his school planner and says, "(Teacher) wants you to read this and sign it TODAY."

"What is it?" I asked, eyeing the planner warily.

"I don't know!" Ah, the nonchalance of a third grader. He padded back into the family room, and I was left to finish putting herbs in the soup, all the while glancing across the room at the planner and thinking, with great trepidation, Is this going to upset me?

My husband is leaving work early tonight due to the storm. He'll have hot soup and buffalo burgers with us, and I'll let him deal with The Note.

Yes sir, the beautiful thing about being married: passing the buck.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Ice Ice Baby

Today we had our first weather-related car accident. It was my husband, not me, and the Mazda, not the new car. The car slid on an icy street and he lost control, smashing into a curb. And this despite studded snow tires.

My husband called me when he got to work and told me about it, and I braced myself for a big dented fender. When he got home (early) tonight, I ran out to the garage to look and I couldn't even see the problem. He had to point it out to me. It looks like nothing, but apparently has affected the alignment, and the car won't go over 35 mph. So he's going to try to get it fixed tomorrow. Though, judging by the local news tonight, he'll have to get in line.

I'm half expecting at least a snow delay at my son's school tomorrow, as the high tonight is supposed to be 2 degrees (it's 7 degrees now), and that means lots of slippery roads before the sun has a chance to melt the ice.

I sure hope I can sleep tonight. Last night I was up three times for no apparent reason and I really need some rest. It's going to be a cold, snowy, busy week.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Welcome to My World


This was the scene we woke up to this morning. It was beautiful, and I was thankful for the snow, but moreso that it had waited until after our TGIO party last night to begin, so everyone stayed safe on their drives back to town.

Isn't Snoopy stylin' in his little coat? Maggie's built for snow, and doesn't need one.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Aargh!

I just settled down to do my homework and discovered I left the book at work! (At least, I hope it's at work! Otherwise, I don't know where it is!) I don't know if I should try to do it from memory, or just cram it in tomorrow between work and the TGIO party (yeah, right!)

*Sigh.*

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Still Waiting

Okay, I won't be able to completely relax until Saturday, because I still need to turn in my homework this week (which of course I haven't started yet) and clean, etc. for the TGIO Party in my "spare" time. I can hardly wait until I can do things like read, sew, decorate, and correspond without feeling guilty or stressed because I'm so-many-thousand words behind on my novel! I think that will happen on Saturday.

Snoopy's being clingy because he was "fixed" today and is all out of sorts and probably quite sore. He just wants to be held. We learned he weighs 28 pounds! When he was a puppy, the breeder told use he wouldn't get any heavier than 20 lbs. And he's not fat by a longshot. He's all muscle, I guess.

Speaking of which, I am in agony right now. I had a chair massage from a therapist who comes by our office, and felt very good for a few hours afterwards but now my back is killing me again. She said I have various and sundry problems, but mainly a vertebrae is popped out in the middle of my back, right where I've been hurting. Man, getting old sucks! ("Back in the day, I could do NaNoWriMo in 20 days one handed, with no caffeine...")

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Honestly, it's almost worth all the misery of the last couple of weeks to be this relieved and happy to have finished my novel!

My ending kind of surprised me!

I'm actually feeling like the story would, in fact, have some redeeming value if properly edited -- but that may just be the high of finishing talking.

It would probably be kind of obnoxious of me to upload the winners icon tonight so I'll leave that for another day. I did, however, post a short excerpt on the NaNoWriMo author profile page, only because I know it makes Chris happy.

For those of you who continue to write: create, enjoy, and finish! You can do it!

So Close I Can Taste It

I'm at 47428 words. I have been able to write for about 3 hours today, in half an hour or so chunks. (My son's mostly watched television and done some reading during that time.) I've just begun Chapter 20, titled "In Which We Tie It All Together In A Neat Little Package Just Around Fifty Thousand Words". Yeah, I know.

It feels VERY good to have this momentum and I know I won't be able to sleep until I've verified!

Catastrophe?

Did someone say, Catastrophe?

My son's home sick from school today, and I'm staying home with him.

Now, this could be good, or bad, depending upon, well, my son.

If it's good, it could be very good, in that I'm not at work but at home for the next six and a half hours and could conceivably knock out some more of my novel rather than waiting until this evening to begin writing.

If it's bad, it could be very bad, in that I'm not at work but at home with a sick eight year old for the next six and a half hours and could be so worn out by this evening that I can't write at all, or won't want to.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Crankily Cranking It Out

Oh my. I'm up to 42193 and I'm killing off a character for only the second time in my noveling life. It wasn't like I was attached to him or anything, and he's actually going quite quickly/painlessly.

I'm beginning to fear not finishing my story by the time I reach 50k. This has never happened to me and I find it disturbing. Mostly because I have no desire to continue writing after November 30. I just don't like the story well enough to go on, and that is putting it lightly.

I cannot WAIT to finish! This has been the longest NaNoWriMo of my life!

We've decided to have the TGIO party at my house again. This because we're having trouble finding a venue that can accommodate a crowd our size that also serves some sort of alcoholic beverage. The latter criteria is mine and mine alone. And that should tell you what kind of a month I've had.

I'm really looking forward to the party -- it's a very nice group of people. We'll celebrate the work we did, read novel excerpts, eat good food, and did I mention we get to drink?

It's coming up quickly, and the only thing between me and all that fun is a measly 7807 words.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Doing the Math

I wrote 5916 words today, bringing my total word count to 36815.

There are just a little more than 3 days left to write. That means that I need to write 13185 words in three days. Which comes out to 4395/day.

My NaNoWriMo Reportcard says that, at my average writing speed, it'll take 9 hours to get to 50k. I'm just trying to figure out where those 9 hours will come from.

Tomorrow, since my son has an afterschool activity that I don't need to attend, I can project 2.5 hours writing time in the afternoon, and another 1.5 in the evening. This is realistic. That makes 4 hours.

Tuesday, I can project just 2 hours in the evening, also realistic. That makes six.

Which means that on Wednesday, I'll need to write for at least 3 hours to make it. Since my husband will be home on Wednesday, I can theoretically go to a coffee shop and write until I finish.

But, I'm not a wait-until-the-last-minute, do-it-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of person. So, I think the best thing I can do is stay up late tonight and write some more.

I have to tell you, my story is getting WEIRD. Pumpkin carving, unexpected betrayal, skate boards and room service. Don't even ask.

And, I don't think I could find a string of three sentences together that I wouldn't be ashamed to post as an excerpt!

Today I heard from one of my teachers with a grade for that mid-NaNo homework assignment that I thought I'd really blown. I got an A! Such is the beauty of the NaNoWriMo writing mode.

It may be crap, but it's not all for naught.

And you can quote me on that.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Some Saturday Statistics

Words written: 5730
Naps taken at the keyboard: 3
Unexpected plot twists: 3
Current chapter: 15
Restaurants contacted about hosting TGIO party: 2
Restaurants secured for TGIO party: 0
Odds I'll continue writing yet more tonight: 50:50

Slow Going

I wrote for about 40 minutes this morning, got about 1600 words, and then had trouble keeping my eyes open, so I had to go lay down. Okay, so my husband and I were up at 4:30 this morning trying to figure out what that UFO was (it was probably a search helicopter over the NE side of town, we decided) but still. This getting-too-sleepy-to-continue-writing thing is really hindering the process! I have since taken a shower, so I'm ready to try again.

Lo and behold, my son's puppy Snoopy has made an appearance in my book! That's just an example of how pushy he is, let me tell you, I don't know why I'm at all surprised. I gave him the name I'd wished for him in real life -- Maxwell Smart. That it is a two-word name is just a bonus.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Having It All

I am halfway to 50k and will need to write 5k words a day faithfully for the rest of the month if I want to win. Do you think I can do it?

I'm not making smart writing choices. For example, today I opted to spend most of the day with a friend who needed to get out and get shopping. I really enjoyed our time together. Then, our neighbors were getting together for a Thanksgiving Leftover party, and though I really needed to stay home and write, I needed to be with them and my family more.

Now I really need to stay up and write, but I'm exhausted and need to sleep if I'm going to get up tomorrow and write.

Thanksgiving Day was wonderful. I connected with good friends on the phone, cooked and ate a great meal, and then went to see the new Harry Potter with my guys. It's the first time I think I've ever gone to a movie on a holiday like that, and it was real nice. I hope yours was, too.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Happy Thanksgiving!

I feel like I'm forgetting something -- it's the turkey-in-the-cooking-bag syndrome! (My husband likes to cook the turkey in one of those roasting bags, which means it takes a lot less time to roast and as a result you're not running around in your pajamas getting the dressing ready to stuff as soon as you get up.) We won't actually be preparing the turkey then until about 10:30 this morning, so I can relax. And make pumpkin pies. And chop stuff.

Ah...I slept in until 8:00 this morning. Felt great. I probably could've stayed in bed longer as the dogs were out already, but my back was killing me! It's really been aching the last couple of weeks, and also my right leg on and off. My husband says I'm out of alignment. I think it's stress, and quite possibly NaNoWriMo, crouched-over-the-computer-syndrome.

Well, the kitty's sick again. Much worse than a couple of weeks ago, too. She's back in the laundry room and I'm giving her leftover meds from the puppy's problems earlier this year, since the vet can't see her until tomorrow. I know he's going to want to do X-rays which will cost us another couple of hundred dollars -- grr. I really wonder what's up with her? She's a 100% indoor cat!

My son is in snakes and snails and puppy dog tails heaven. His friend gave him some water snails for his aquarium yesterday. He's obsessing. For example, he wrote a note and stuck it to the aquarium: 'Take the snails out before cleaning the tank.'

He is so my kid.

This morning's note from Chris Baty said he was feeling far from finishing...and he has, like, 10k words more than I do!

Yikes.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I did some writing today, but not on my novel. Instead, I wrote a short piece for our company website -- 300 words. I would honestly rather write 3000 words than just 300, if you know what I mean. But I was pleased with the outcome and got good feedback, which felt nice.

I just finished making two Chocolate Caramel Pecan pies, from a new recipe. They didn't come out looking like the picture. I hate that. But I'm sure they'll taste good.

The little guy is off school the rest of the week. My husband and I have one more day to work. So, our son will go to his best friend's house to play all day. I'm jealous.

We have no big plans for Thanksgiving except relaxing and of course I'll be cooking the bird for the three of us. I'm really struggling with grief, lots of memories and pain. But I'll survive. It comes and goes.

Of course, I plan to write ALOT over the four day weekend. At this point, I'm only doing it because I said I would and I'm stubborn that way. I'm not in love with my story and if I could change it at this point, I would! The novel I would write would be a satire of corporate life, and it would be damn funny. (But that's just my misdirected anger talking...)

I'm looking forward to listening to my voice echo in the halls at work as one of the few who hasn't taken the day off tomorrow. I tend to get a lot done on days like that.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Nibbling vs. Noveling

This cracks me up: my spellchecker always stops at "noveling" and suggests "nibbling"!

Which, at the rate I'm writing this year, is actually quite a good alternative, I think.

22454 and Getting Close to Halfway

Well, the noveling is still going slowly.

Today I was at the write in at Stratford's and, even though I was drinking a mocha which did contain caffeine, I was nodding off at my keyboard. It was just so comfortable -- overstuffed sofa, warm fire, the tapping of fingers on keyboards...

I had to get up and walk around a bit, and actually didn't get much writing done after that but we did do some plot doctoring so that was good.

I was telling my fellow novelists about my uncooperative characters.

First of all, my MC is infatuated with an unscheduled traveling companion, which is wreaking havoc with the exploration of self she's supposed to be doing en route.

Additionally, said traveling companion who was supposed to be damaged and brooding is turning into a comedian. In fact, the whole story is taking a turn for the ludicrious.

For example, today when they were supposed to be having a soul-revealing conversation before a meal, a movie star made an unexpected appearance and shot that whole scene to hell. Not literally, even if it was (ahem) Clint Eastwood.

Lar asked me today if they'd run out of gas yet. I just stared at her blankly, as, I'm embarrassed to admit, I'd overlooked one of the standard road trip story requirements. So that is definitely happening in the next few pages.

In other words, I've completely abandoned the serious aspects of this story and am going to just have fun with it. Honestly, at this point, I don't think I'll be able to get through it any other way.

And come to think of it, wasn't that the point in the first place?

Friday, November 18, 2005

It's All About Balance

My wordcount now stands at 20484 and I've finished my homework! I'm feeling better about everything (I knew I would when I hit 20k).

So what if a 15 year old kid showed up at our write-in and he's got a green bar? (Translation: he's finished his 50k, early.)

So what if I still haven't written yet today?

So what if 20k is supposed to signal the beginning, not the end, of novel burnout?

So what if I'm still 3k behind goal?

I'm gonna go have some Cub Scout popcorn, watch "Sahara", and finish sewing the dog bed.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Me, Waxing Pathetic

I don't think I've written a word since Sunday.

I just make a conscious decision each evening to ignore the novel in favor of (insert one of the following: homework, hanging out with my son, shopping, talking on the phone, watching television, sleeping.) As I was reminded a few days ago, there is still plenty of time left in November. But looking at everyone's word count still makes me feel awful.

I've had a lot of feeling awful this week. Yesterday, the anniversary of mom's passing, I was in a huge funk. It was also a full moon. And I was offered, and turned down, a really great job transfer to a full time job I would have loved. My husband nixed it, saying he really didn't want our family to have to go through the sacrifice of my working full time unless and until his job really did go away, and then only for much more money than was offered. I was just trying to be prepared. I felt awful saying "No, thanks" and that along with all the other stuff made for a pretty lousy day overall. Bleh.

I felt much better this morning when I woke up (and the moon had waned.) I have a big homework assignment due tomorrow in my Creative Writing class, and a big headache, too, but I'm going to go to a NaNoWriMo write in anyway because, hey, I'm committed. (Or should be.)

Sunday, November 13, 2005

But, Isn't He the Cutest?

A Look on the Bright Side

I've written a little over 3k words this weekend but am still about 3k behind goal. If I were to write about 1800/day rather than the typical goal of 1667/day I'd still finish on time. Viewed that way it doesn't seem that bad. But all of my Friends and most of the CS NaNos who bother to post their word count are leaving me in the dust and that's bumming me out, er, I mean, motivating me!

Yes, that's right, I'm not the least bit discouraged and even more determined than ever to catch up! Woo hoo!*

In other weekend news: today was a good day not to be a Raider's fan; the local forecast includes the possibility of more snow tomorrow; I talked to my brother and between us we figured out that the anniversary of my mother's death is actually this coming week, not last week, and that both of us had spaced on that is yet another example of The Strange and Complex Grieving Brain.

You should have seen me trying to knock out one of the two last things on my to do list (otherwise known as procrastinating...) tonight.

It was a dog bed I promised my son I'd make for the puppy. I bought the material about 2 months ago, and I decided tonight's the night. So, I'm laying out and cutting the material and the puppy's grabbing one end and tearing off into the other room with it. I get it back and he does it again. I put him outside and get it cut out.

Then I have to let him back in because it's, like, 29 degrees outside, and I'm starting to sew the bed but I have to keep pushing him off my lap. Then I move to the other room and he follows me in. He decides to go terrorize the sleeping cat (who's just back on her feet after being ill.) I chase him off her and then he comes downstairs and finds the spool of thread. He runs off with it. Three times. I put him back outside and...need I go on?

Come to think of it, compared to most of the other stuff I do around here, knocking out a 50k novel should be a piece of cake.

*The foregoing is a crock.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

NaNoWriMo Week Two, Rule Number Two

2. Do not go on break from your novel.

Yeah, I'm just relaxing after a helluva week. Last night I went to an open studio for a watercolorist I really admire, came home and cuddled with husband and son who are currently watching the Star Wars Series yet again (they're on number 5), and then I went to bed blissfully early. Now I'm on my way to breakfast and some holiday craft fairs with a friend.

I'm not going to stress this today because, 12 days in, I'm really missing down time with my family. I don't think I can support NaNoWriMo if I can't prove to myself that you can do it and balance the rest of your life, too. Only some days have to be insane, not all of them, eh?

Or, maybe I'm just in deep denial.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Plugging Away

Work has been hectic, but today I scored donations of Krispy Kremes and Starbucks for the large meeting I'm putting on next week. How bad could a day that ends like that be, I ask you?

Afer work I went shopping at Toys R Us -- they're having a big sale and, let's face it, Christmas shopping waits for nothing, not even NaNoWriMo. I was on sensory overload after about 10 minutes in that store, but it was worth it because it was among my last stops and now I'm about 75% finished with Christmas prep!

The whole Christmas card thing is always a hassle for me because NaNo no sooner ends than I have to scramble to get them out. Today I at least got color copies made of the photo page of my annual letter. I've actually already written much of the letter itself, as well, so I should be in good shape to get them out on time ESPECIALLY if I finish my novel early!

I'm at 15186 and at my creative wit's end for the evening. I think I found the title of my book, too, but am still mulling that one over before committing to it.

We had quite a group of hardworking novelists at Panera tonight -- 8 of us. I got about 1300 words written while there, and more at home. Feels good!

NaNoWriMo Week Two, Rule Number One

1. Do not get cocky about how easy it is to get your daily word count, unless you want to fall flat on your face.

My trusty Reportcard tells me that I've written 867 words over the last two days. Which means that, at this rate I'll finish December 5, and I have to write 4090 words to be back on track by midnight.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

It's Not Easy Being Green

My son and I have had some pretty serious talks tonight. Damn, it's tough to be a kid. I think I delude myself into thinking that, because he has it so much better in so many ways than I did, that he has it easy. But, growing up in 2005 can't be easy. And apparently it isn't. It hurts not to be able to make it all better, and it's hard to be satisfied with just giving them the tools, the support, and the love they need while you stand back and watch them do the hard work of growing up.

Maybe it would've been easier to take if, just today, I hadn't gotten a glimpse in my rear view mirror of a car much like my dad's being driven by a man in a baseball hat like dad always wore, with a small woman sitting in the passenger seat beside him. It was so familiar, and for that fraction of a second I thought, "Is that them?" and felt surprised and happy followed quickly by the realization that, of course not, how could it be, they're both gone now. When that reality hits, no matter how often it's happened before it comes with a fresh jolt of, I don't know, finality.

I realize this is the one year anniversary of the week my mother died, and know enough from past experience to understand that even if I don't consciously recall it, my subconscious has noted this. I'm having trouble sleeping. I'm feeling very weepy. Today a coworker about my age introduced me to her mother who was having lunch with her and I almost couldn't speak for a few seconds. It felt like I'd been punched. I almost skipped going to the gym in favor of laying face down on the bed crying, but talked myself out of it. That may have been a mistake.

Monday, November 07, 2005

11.7 on 11/7

Wow, after the marathon writing this past weekend, doing my 1667 tonight was a breeze!

My cat is sick. $100 and a time-consuming trip to the vet later I know what she has, and why, and have pills to shove down her throat. I hope she's all better soon so I can let her out of her prison, I mean, the laundry room.

I have nothing clever or interesting to write about, so I'll just record my wordcount on day 7: 11,713.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

The Neverending Day

I'm experiencing something so strange and wonderful that I'm almost afraid to say it out loud for fear of making it stop: my weekend has felt twice as long as usual. What I mean is, everytime I look at the clock I have this sensation that surely it must be later than that. I've had more time to accomplish so much more than I ever normally do on a weekend! Typically they fly by and I'm sitting there with the Sunday evening blues by the time I've blinked twice -- but not this weekend. I've caught up with my wordcount, spent time with my family, cleaned, cooked, done many achievements in my son's Cub Scout manual, sewed, spent time with my pets, written letters, answered emails, made phone calls...and the list goes on and on. It's uncanny! It's a miracle! Or at least a huge blessing.

Wouldn't it be something if it just kept going like this?

Novel Energy

Honestly, I knew I could do it but I am very relieved I was right.

It being, of course, getting back on track with my novel. Today I met up with six others at the coffee shop in my little hamlet for a write in. We did a couple of timed writings and all of us came away with many words written. I must admit I didn't think I'd enjoy the whole timed writing thing my group got into last year after I had already dropped out, but now that I've done it a few times I can see it is a very effective tool.

Anyway, the noveling energy at Stratfords was so thick it must've been felt around the whole town. I half expect my neighbors to come up to me tomorrow and say, "Gee, you know, between 3 and 5 yesterday, I had this strange urge to write a novel."

Last year one of the goodies was a stack of name tag stickers that say at the top, "Hello, my novel is" and you fill in the blank. The suggestion being of course that you can write in your novel title or complete the sentence, i.e., "...killing me." I dug them out to use again this year and mine read, "...just beginning to get fun." And that's where I'm at.

Currently, my MC has just learned The Awful Truth and is about to see a concert. She's going to get overly emotional with the lyrics of one of the songs she's going to hear and that's when she'll decide to embark upon her Road Trip. Whee!

The Perfect Shoe


I fell in love with these shoes in Taos. They're German (naturlich), and very expensive. They were like walking on air and are number one on my Christmas list.

Procrastinating? Who, me?

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Progress 3

Just for the sake of consistency I'll post that I wrote for 45 minutes this afternoon while my son was playing his GameCube with a neighbor and my husband was at the gym. I managed 1485 words and then I was too sleepy to go on so I napped for about an hour (which was a rare treat, actually.)

This has been a disturbing trend the last couple of days. I'm trying to figure out why lately I get so sleepy while I write. Anybody? I don't know what's going on but I do know that it will surely spell trouble for NaNoWriMo if this trend continues.

I plan to do one more hour today, preferably before bed to guarantee a good night's sleep.

Progress 2

Went to the gym, showered, sat down to write another hour and got 1816 words. My wordcount is now 4835. If I can do two more one hour stints like this today and three tomorrow, I should be all caught up!

The snow stopped and melted, and it's raining now. And, cold.

Progress

I took Chris' advice and wrote for an hour; got a total of 1030 words. I also deleted that first chapter of the story that I didn't go with, which brought my word count down so I'm actually behind where I started an hour ago, but not by much.

I'm going to take a break now because I'm sleepy! Must drink more coffee, walk around.

Newsflash: it's begun to snow!

Climb Every Mountain...

I couldn't keep my eyes open to write last night so I only got 507 words out. But now I'm up early and motivated. Coffee's brewing, cat's fed. I'm at 3,522 words and must write 4,813 more today in order to be caught up.

At least my mc has a name now: Sarah. Folks in my local region will get that joke.

Coffee's done and I have at least half an hour before the little guy wakes up and my 'favorite noveling music' becomes Spongebob Squarepants. Wish me luck.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

How Not to Start

Now that I've changed my story, I've written a bare bones synopsis and a chapter one. I haven't actually deleted that original first chapter of the "old" story but I will as soon as I'm not in danger of completely depressing myself with my miniscule, already-behind word count (3,015).

I've had a very hectic and tiring week. Stressful. Tomorrow will be more of the same, and then I plan to recover, and isn't that what weekends are for, anyway?

My husband had a colonoscopy today. Boy, wouldn't he love it if he realized I was blogging this? My father-in-law had colon cancer three years ago or so. He was a young father so he's not that much older than my husband, and he advised all his kids to have the checkup. But my husband has refused up until now. For many months into years he wouldn't even talk about it ("Will everyone stop talking about MY BUTT!" he'd scream.) My inlaws worried about it. I nagged. Then I gave up.

Finally, a month or so ago, my husband asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Guess what I said?

So, yeah, he had the procedure today. And naturally, it was a nightmare. Even his doctor was wincing and saying he felt bad at how sick my husband got. I guess he reacted poorly to it all, his blood pressure dropped, he needed IV fluids, blah blah blah. And I sat in the little chair next to his cot as he lay all curled up in pain. Talk about guilty.

However, the doctor also said it was a good thing he'd had the colonoscopy now. And with that I'll stop, as I've surely already given you Too Much Information. I think someday husband will probably be glad I insisted. (I hope I live to see that day!)

In other news, I hosted my first meet-up/write-in at the usual place. There were five of us and we wrote. I gave out goodies. Very productive. NaNoWriMo participants, here's my two cents: go to a meet up!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

And Now for Something Completely Different

At 4 a.m. I awoke; I don't know what woke me but I immediately began thinking of the 1,532 words I'd written before bed and decided that my novel was B-O-R-I-N-G, and that if I was going to do this thing I was going to have to come up with a new idea.

So, that's what I did. It sort of just came to me about an hour ago, so tonight I have a synopsis of sorts. It's going to be about a young woman, a singer, who suffers a crisis and takes off to follow her favorite band. She's running, but also seeking, and of course, she's going to find something she doesn't know she's looking for.

Yes, that's right: I'm writing a road trip novel.

Now, I'm excited!

I still need to think more about who she, my MC, is...and hopefully this time my secondary characters won't steal the show, so to speak.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Shout Out

Since the website's moving too slowly to do anything besides take an excruciatingly slow peek at the Regional Lounge and post my word count, I thought I'd mention here that the new WrimoRadio story includes the Shout Out that we recorded at our Kickoff Party last week!

And Sam thanks me by name at the end, albeit the wrong name. (But that's okay, he can call me whatever he wants.)

Status: Begun!

Starting the novel wasn't as difficult as I'd imagined. I put it off forever, then this evening as my son settled down to read his obligatory 20 minutes I turned on the computer and just started to write.

I'm not usually as intimidated by a blank Word document as others seem to be, and in this case I began not at the beginning of the story, but somewhere in the middle. I had no choice, really, as I don't have a plot so how can I have a first sentence?

It's not important that my novel start on page one at this point. The only important thing is taking that first step. Or in this case, typing that first word.

It feels great!

Monday, October 31, 2005

Halloween Down...

NaNoWriMo to go!

I wish I could stay up until midnight to begin writing, but I'd be good for nothing tomorrow. And after the day I've had today...that would not be a good thing.

Happy tapping, all you 12:01 a.m. writers!

Sunday, October 30, 2005

WrimoRadio

I'm listening to WrimoRadio right now, and Chris is talking about the different things you go through during each week of NaNoWriMo. How true it is...the week one Fear of the Blank Page, the week two Slowdown, etc. It's not really encouraging me...it's actually making me nervous, as I deal with these bizarre feelings I've been having, like not being excited about writing (yet...will I get there by November 1?), and not having a really great story idea (yet...will I get there by the day after tomorrow?)

I haven't spent any time this weekend so far planning my novel. I have, however, done a lot of great stuff! The highlight was going out to dinner with our best friends last night. Before we could eat, though, though, we had to attend the annual community center Halloween party, in which the kids get into their costumes and run around looking for candy.

Isn't it funny how kids will do anything for candy? They'll crawl through an obstacle course, cling to an indoor rock climbing wall while wearing a cape, approach total strangers in scary costumes, walk around in the snow in the dark...just to get a piece of sugar wrapped in paper.

And most of the time they don't even need extra candy. Take my son for example. This kid still has Halloween candy leftover from last year. Heck, he still has candy leftover from two Easters ago! There's also a bowl of candy on the kitchen counter next to the coffee maker that he never touches. He has total access to candy. He has so much candy he forgets about it. But still he feels compelled to carry around a bag and hope adults will throw candy in it. I have this theory that it's either early hunter/gatherer instincts coming through, or else it's a part of this culture of collecting. But, I digress.

Among the fun things the kids did at the party was participate in a cake walk. We figured we had it beat, since there were, like, ten kids walking and three of them were ours. You should have heard the whining and complaining when none of our kids ended up winning. And the kids were bummed out, too.

Then we went to dinner at our favorite hole-in-the-wall Italian, the one with the 90 year old owner that all children are obligated to hug on the way out. Sometimes, if there are no kids around and you're short, she'll hug you. But luckily we had kids, so she hugged'em. (And then she gave them some candy.) Dinner was as delicious as always.

After that we went to see what we call 'the Pumpkin Man's house', a retired guy on the south side of town who carves amazing designs in the monstrous pumpkins he grows, then puts them on display for all the neighborhood kids. He's been doing this for, like, 20 years. And, he gives the kids candy. (Not the greatest photo quality, but you get the idea.)





Then we got to come home and watch a great movie, go to bed late, and sleep an extra hour in the morning. Life is good.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Kicked Off

The Kickoff Party was a hoot -- the room was great, the food was great, some newbies showed up, many brought friends, and my husband (aka NaNoWriMo Widower) helped a lot!

We had a raffle for Vintage NaNoWriMo Goodies, and surprisingly the Magical Pen of Wonder from 2003 was the hot giveaway.

I believe much fun was had by all.

I must admit I enjoyed planning and executing the party, and I have a great time talking about past NaNoWriMos and about writing at that pace, and hanging out on the Forums and stuff...but I'm not as excited about actually writing as I have been in the past.

I keep reading folks on the boards saying, "I can't wait to start writing"...but the thing is, I can. Wait, that is.

I am just so busy right now.

Hm. Three days and counting.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Why is the Alphabet in that Order?

Is it because of that song?

My favorite sweatshirt bears those questions, and I get many, many comments when I wear it. I didn't buy it to be smarmy, I bought it when singing the alphabet song was an everyday occurrence for me. (Ah, the preschooler days.)

I just got my second "A". Sweet, encouraging, first letter of the alphabet, how I love thee. It's just what I needed to hear today!

That's the good news.

The bad news is that my husband's job is going to the Philippines next year. Apparently half of the staff will be let go by December, and the other half is to stick around for another year getting the division sent safely overseas and then, supposedly, reinstated somewhere within another division of the company.

What remains to be seen, naturally, is which 50% my husband falls into.

Today I spoke to my boss about my options. How ironic would it be if I had to begin working full time just in time for NaNoWriMo?

Ironic? I don't know...it seems like it's more just The Way My Life Goes.

And I wonder again if we will ever be able to truly make a living in Colorado.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!

My son and I just watched the old, classic cartoon tonight. I had one of those warm-your-heart moments, a sort of de ja vu to sit and enjoy with him what I so clearly remember from my own childhood. These times make me stop and and bask in the blessing, realizing with full force once more just how close I came to never being a mother!

Every day we pass the pumpkins we plucked from the patch in Penrose, which are perched on the porch.

Every day my son asks when we can carve them.

And everyday I tell him that his father wants to do it with him, so we have to wait until he's home and has time. This is a fib. But I really, really hate the feeling of slimy pumpkin innards on my fingers, and cleaning off the seeds so we can roast them is sacrifice enough, in my opinion. So, my husband gets to do the carving, and then eat the yummy nuts later.

Something that perplexes me (don't worry, I'm not going to get going with the P's again...): my son doesn't want a new Halloween costume. He actually wants to be the same thing he's been since he was five. In other words, for the third year in a row. I have tried to talk him out of this, but he won't budge. Does anyone else think this is strange?

Monday, October 24, 2005

Bragging

Hey, I got back some more grades and I finally did it: I got an "A" from the tough teacher on a writing assignment!

It warmed my heart.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Hot Air

At the risk of making this blog into the high tech equivalent of the post-vacation slide show, I'll just post these last two of the Balloon Rally. My family actually cooperated when I woke them up at o'dark thirty to get out to see the hot air balloon ascension. It was FREEZING, but quickly warmed up as soon as the sun was over the Sangre de Cristos.



Sideways is on; I haven't seen it yet. It's making me homesick. It's also making me laugh. ("Are you chewing gum?")

Antiques Curbshow


I got a kick out of this shop on the main drag with salvaged architectural elements artfully displayed in the garden. The shop itself, an old adobe set far back from the road (with its "the witch is in" sign on the door that I think was not necessarily a Halloween prop) wasn't near as much fun.

worlds away

I spent a night in Albuquerque, New Mexico once and remember thinking, I could live here. That was more than 15 years ago and this was my first trip back, this time to Taos. New Mexico is only a few hours away from here, but it's a different world. They call it The Land of Enchantment, and there really is something to that, somehow.

One thing's for sure: it was beautiful time of year to be there. This photo is as we were leaving Ojo Caliente, where we'd spent a wonderful morning relaxing in their mineral waters.



Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Success!

I did it!

I worked most of my normal weekly hours in the past three days, scratched off everything on my work "to do" list, and finished all the homework that was due by this Friday!

Life is good.

On the way home from all of that tonight, I turned on the radio in the car and on came Alice Cooper. I guess he has a syndicated Wednesday night show, you know, where he plays music from his era and talks in between. Jeez, what is it with these Geezer Rockers? Don't they know when to stop?

A couple of my co-workers are heading to SF this weekend on business. They promised to bring me back some Boudin.

Okay, now I'm just rambling, so I guess that's it for me. Now, I'm officially on vacation.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Ahhhhh...

I just made reservations for our getaway to Taos.

Now if I can just get my homework done before we leave, I'll be in good shape.

As I mentioned last week, getting to the studying when my little guy's on break and it's 75 degrees outside and I haven't cooked real food for my family in recent memory and the dogs want to play, too...is all but impossible!

My plan for tomorrow is to hunker down in my favorite coffee shop and not go home until my lesson is complete. I'll pack at some point, too.

(Wish me luck.)

I know, but I just can't help myself


This was Monday, when the colors "popped."

Since having seasons was one of the reasons I wanted to move here, I just really enjoy this stuff.

(Little did I know I'd get all the seasons within one week...)

How fun is that?

Doesn't this sound cool? I wish I had time to do it!

Saturday, October 15, 2005

16 days, and counting

I met with the other ML yesterday to plan the NaNoWriMo Kickoff Party. It's going to be simple, but productive and -- oh yeah -- fun! I've hardly given my novel a thought, which is what I did last year as well, and it was difficult to begin, so I'm going to have to try a little harder this time around.

Here's what I have so far: a character. She doesn't have a name, but she's around 30, I think, single and stuck. Her parents come from the old country and want to arrange her marriage, and even though she's not in a relationship, she doesn't want to settle.

This will not, I repeat, will not be a romance!

Anyway, I was working on something similar in last year's novel interruptus, but this will be better. Probably darker. I'm going to spend some time the weekend before character sketching.

I must get to work catching up in college class number two as well as planning the trip we're taking out of state Wed-Sun. I'm really not in the mood to travel but I think it will do me good.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Homework, Kicking My Butt

I had no earthly idea how I was going to manage adding school to work, family, and everything else. The first couple of weeks of the semester went pretty smoothly and, I admit, I got cocky. It's been all downhill from there. Especially this week, with my Little Guy on break from his school. This is when I have to get creative with squeezing reading/writing/corresponding-with-teacher time, and I've never been the best at multi-tasking. But, I have just turned in my assignment for the tough teacher and now I can stop and catch my breath.

Okay, I'm ignoring that I'm behind on journaling a writing book, and the chapters are piling up. But, that's not work, that's fun!

And if I don't turn something in by Friday, I'm also ignoring the fact that I'll be two weeks behind in my other class (just two classes first semester -- them's the rules.) But the other teacher's totally lax, thank goodness.

I honestly don't know what I'm thinking, signing up for NaNoWriMo.

Denial. It's a way of life.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Monday, October 10, 2005

So, NaNoWriMo

Here are my thoughts on National Novel Writing Month:

The first year I did NaNo just to prove I could. I didn't have a plot but I did have a couple of characters, and suprisingly that turned out to be enough. It was an amazing experience, as prior to that I'd only really written non-fiction and didn't expect to like fiction-writing. But I learned that I did like fiction, it wasn't as hard as I expected it to be, and although my novel was pretty crappy, it was a beginning.

The second year I did it because I'd had so much fun the first year. This time I had a plot, but that didn't necessarily make the writing any easier. I had even more fun that time around, and my novel wasn't as crappy as the first one. I later edited it and came up with a finished product that I was then and still am very attached to, even though I didn't sell it.

The third year I did NaNo with less enthusiasm because, I realize now, I was doing it with a purpose (writing a novel) rather than for a higher purpose (having fun.) That was a mistake. Due to circumstances beyond my control I didn't "win" (write 50k words) anyway. It was a big bummer.

Also last year I made the discovery that I still have a lot to learn about writing. Hence the return to college to get the degree and see if there really is something I've missed, or not learned yet. I figure if the lightbulb hasn't gone off by the time I finish school, it never will.

This is the fourth year I plan to sit down on November 1 and start a novel. I have a character and no plot, which seems for me and for the purposes of this endeavor to be the recipe for NaNo success. I don't know how I'm going to manage to win considering that my life is busier now than it's been any other year I've attempted this. But I am determined!



Help! I'm trapped in the body of a B student!

Something new in my life: I'm an external student at a college in Indiana (I'll give you a hint: we're known as "Woodsies"). I'm planning to spend the next 12 years or so* finishing up my Bachelor's in Creative Writing. Today I received my grade for the second assignment I turned in for one of my major courses, and got my second B+.

I wish I could explain why it bugs me to not get an A.

After all, a B+ is a pretty good grade from a pretty tough teacher. Isn't it?

And, I'm not at all a competitive person, nor do I set unreasonably high standards for myself in other areas.

However, I've come to realize that in this one area I am, and I do.

It reminds me of the first time I quit college, 23 years ago. The event that caused me to put my tail between my legs was my upper division Journalism course term paper grade: B-.

I'm not quitting this time around.

Still, that B? It. Gets. On. My. Nerves.

*an exaggeration, but only slightly