Still Waiting

Okay, I won't be able to completely relax until Saturday, because I still need to turn in my homework this week (which of course I haven't started yet) and clean, etc. for the TGIO Party in my "spare" time. I can hardly wait until I can do things like read, sew, decorate, and correspond without feeling guilty or stressed because I'm so-many-thousand words behind on my novel! I think that will happen on Saturday.

Snoopy's being clingy because he was "fixed" today and is all out of sorts and probably quite sore. He just wants to be held. We learned he weighs 28 pounds! When he was a puppy, the breeder told use he wouldn't get any heavier than 20 lbs. And he's not fat by a longshot. He's all muscle, I guess.

Speaking of which, I am in agony right now. I had a chair massage from a therapist who comes by our office, and felt very good for a few hours afterwards but now my back is killing me again. She said I have various and sundry problems, but mainly a vertebrae is popped out in the middle of my back, right where I've been hurting. Man, getting old sucks! ("Back in the day, I could do NaNoWriMo in 20 days one handed, with no caffeine...")

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Honestly, it's almost worth all the misery of the last couple of weeks to be this relieved and happy to have finished my novel!

My ending kind of surprised me!

I'm actually feeling like the story would, in fact, have some redeeming value if properly edited -- but that may just be the high of finishing talking.

It would probably be kind of obnoxious of me to upload the winners icon tonight so I'll leave that for another day. I did, however, post a short excerpt on the NaNoWriMo author profile page, only because I know it makes Chris happy.

For those of you who continue to write: create, enjoy, and finish! You can do it!

So Close I Can Taste It

I'm at 47428 words. I have been able to write for about 3 hours today, in half an hour or so chunks. (My son's mostly watched television and done some reading during that time.) I've just begun Chapter 20, titled "In Which We Tie It All Together In A Neat Little Package Just Around Fifty Thousand Words". Yeah, I know.

It feels VERY good to have this momentum and I know I won't be able to sleep until I've verified!

Catastrophe?

Did someone say, Catastrophe?

My son's home sick from school today, and I'm staying home with him.

Now, this could be good, or bad, depending upon, well, my son.

If it's good, it could be very good, in that I'm not at work but at home for the next six and a half hours and could conceivably knock out some more of my novel rather than waiting until this evening to begin writing.

If it's bad, it could be very bad, in that I'm not at work but at home with a sick eight year old for the next six and a half hours and could be so worn out by this evening that I can't write at all, or won't want to.

Crankily Cranking It Out

Oh my. I'm up to 42193 and I'm killing off a character for only the second time in my noveling life. It wasn't like I was attached to him or anything, and he's actually going quite quickly/painlessly.

I'm beginning to fear not finishing my story by the time I reach 50k. This has never happened to me and I find it disturbing. Mostly because I have no desire to continue writing after November 30. I just don't like the story well enough to go on, and that is putting it lightly.

I cannot WAIT to finish! This has been the longest NaNoWriMo of my life!

We've decided to have the TGIO party at my house again. This because we're having trouble finding a venue that can accommodate a crowd our size that also serves some sort of alcoholic beverage. The latter criteria is mine and mine alone. And that should tell you what kind of a month I've had.

I'm really looking forward to the party -- it's a very nice group of people. We'll celebrate the work we did, read novel excerpts, eat good food, and did I mention we get to drink?

It's coming up quickly, and the only thing between me and all that fun is a measly 7807 words.

Doing the Math

I wrote 5916 words today, bringing my total word count to 36815.

There are just a little more than 3 days left to write. That means that I need to write 13185 words in three days. Which comes out to 4395/day.

My NaNoWriMo Reportcard says that, at my average writing speed, it'll take 9 hours to get to 50k. I'm just trying to figure out where those 9 hours will come from.

Tomorrow, since my son has an afterschool activity that I don't need to attend, I can project 2.5 hours writing time in the afternoon, and another 1.5 in the evening. This is realistic. That makes 4 hours.

Tuesday, I can project just 2 hours in the evening, also realistic. That makes six.

Which means that on Wednesday, I'll need to write for at least 3 hours to make it. Since my husband will be home on Wednesday, I can theoretically go to a coffee shop and write until I finish.

But, I'm not a wait-until-the-last-minute, do-it-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of person. So, I think the best thing I can do is stay up late tonight and write some more.

I have to tell you, my story is getting WEIRD. Pumpkin carving, unexpected betrayal, skate boards and room service. Don't even ask.

And, I don't think I could find a string of three sentences together that I wouldn't be ashamed to post as an excerpt!

Today I heard from one of my teachers with a grade for that mid-NaNo homework assignment that I thought I'd really blown. I got an A! Such is the beauty of the NaNoWriMo writing mode.

It may be crap, but it's not all for naught.

And you can quote me on that.

Some Saturday Statistics

Words written: 5730
Naps taken at the keyboard: 3
Unexpected plot twists: 3
Current chapter: 15
Restaurants contacted about hosting TGIO party: 2
Restaurants secured for TGIO party: 0
Odds I'll continue writing yet more tonight: 50:50

Slow Going

I wrote for about 40 minutes this morning, got about 1600 words, and then had trouble keeping my eyes open, so I had to go lay down. Okay, so my husband and I were up at 4:30 this morning trying to figure out what that UFO was (it was probably a search helicopter over the NE side of town, we decided) but still. This getting-too-sleepy-to-continue-writing thing is really hindering the process! I have since taken a shower, so I'm ready to try again.

Lo and behold, my son's puppy Snoopy has made an appearance in my book! That's just an example of how pushy he is, let me tell you, I don't know why I'm at all surprised. I gave him the name I'd wished for him in real life -- Maxwell Smart. That it is a two-word name is just a bonus.

Having It All

I am halfway to 50k and will need to write 5k words a day faithfully for the rest of the month if I want to win. Do you think I can do it?

I'm not making smart writing choices. For example, today I opted to spend most of the day with a friend who needed to get out and get shopping. I really enjoyed our time together. Then, our neighbors were getting together for a Thanksgiving Leftover party, and though I really needed to stay home and write, I needed to be with them and my family more.

Now I really need to stay up and write, but I'm exhausted and need to sleep if I'm going to get up tomorrow and write.

Thanksgiving Day was wonderful. I connected with good friends on the phone, cooked and ate a great meal, and then went to see the new Harry Potter with my guys. It's the first time I think I've ever gone to a movie on a holiday like that, and it was real nice. I hope yours was, too.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I feel like I'm forgetting something -- it's the turkey-in-the-cooking-bag syndrome! (My husband likes to cook the turkey in one of those roasting bags, which means it takes a lot less time to roast and as a result you're not running around in your pajamas getting the dressing ready to stuff as soon as you get up.) We won't actually be preparing the turkey then until about 10:30 this morning, so I can relax. And make pumpkin pies. And chop stuff.

Ah...I slept in until 8:00 this morning. Felt great. I probably could've stayed in bed longer as the dogs were out already, but my back was killing me! It's really been aching the last couple of weeks, and also my right leg on and off. My husband says I'm out of alignment. I think it's stress, and quite possibly NaNoWriMo, crouched-over-the-computer-syndrome.

Well, the kitty's sick again. Much worse than a couple of weeks ago, too. She's back in the laundry room and I'm giving her leftover meds from the puppy's problems earlier this year, since the vet can't see her until tomorrow. I know he's going to want to do X-rays which will cost us another couple of hundred dollars -- grr. I really wonder what's up with her? She's a 100% indoor cat!

My son is in snakes and snails and puppy dog tails heaven. His friend gave him some water snails for his aquarium yesterday. He's obsessing. For example, he wrote a note and stuck it to the aquarium: 'Take the snails out before cleaning the tank.'

He is so my kid.

This morning's note from Chris Baty said he was feeling far from finishing...and he has, like, 10k words more than I do!

Yikes.

I did some writing today, but not on my novel. Instead, I wrote a short piece for our company website -- 300 words. I would honestly rather write 3000 words than just 300, if you know what I mean. But I was pleased with the outcome and got good feedback, which felt nice.

I just finished making two Chocolate Caramel Pecan pies, from a new recipe. They didn't come out looking like the picture. I hate that. But I'm sure they'll taste good.

The little guy is off school the rest of the week. My husband and I have one more day to work. So, our son will go to his best friend's house to play all day. I'm jealous.

We have no big plans for Thanksgiving except relaxing and of course I'll be cooking the bird for the three of us. I'm really struggling with grief, lots of memories and pain. But I'll survive. It comes and goes.

Of course, I plan to write ALOT over the four day weekend. At this point, I'm only doing it because I said I would and I'm stubborn that way. I'm not in love with my story and if I could change it at this point, I would! The novel I would write would be a satire of corporate life, and it would be damn funny. (But that's just my misdirected anger talking...)

I'm looking forward to listening to my voice echo in the halls at work as one of the few who hasn't taken the day off tomorrow. I tend to get a lot done on days like that.

Nibbling vs. Noveling

This cracks me up: my spellchecker always stops at "noveling" and suggests "nibbling"!

Which, at the rate I'm writing this year, is actually quite a good alternative, I think.

22454 and Getting Close to Halfway

Well, the noveling is still going slowly.

Today I was at the write in at Stratford's and, even though I was drinking a mocha which did contain caffeine, I was nodding off at my keyboard. It was just so comfortable -- overstuffed sofa, warm fire, the tapping of fingers on keyboards...

I had to get up and walk around a bit, and actually didn't get much writing done after that but we did do some plot doctoring so that was good.

I was telling my fellow novelists about my uncooperative characters.

First of all, my MC is infatuated with an unscheduled traveling companion, which is wreaking havoc with the exploration of self she's supposed to be doing en route.

Additionally, said traveling companion who was supposed to be damaged and brooding is turning into a comedian. In fact, the whole story is taking a turn for the ludicrious.

For example, today when they were supposed to be having a soul-revealing conversation before a meal, a movie star made an unexpected appearance and shot that whole scene to hell. Not literally, even if it was (ahem) Clint Eastwood.

Lar asked me today if they'd run out of gas yet. I just stared at her blankly, as, I'm embarrassed to admit, I'd overlooked one of the standard road trip story requirements. So that is definitely happening in the next few pages.

In other words, I've completely abandoned the serious aspects of this story and am going to just have fun with it. Honestly, at this point, I don't think I'll be able to get through it any other way.

And come to think of it, wasn't that the point in the first place?

It's All About Balance

My wordcount now stands at 20484 and I've finished my homework! I'm feeling better about everything (I knew I would when I hit 20k).

So what if a 15 year old kid showed up at our write-in and he's got a green bar? (Translation: he's finished his 50k, early.)

So what if I still haven't written yet today?

So what if 20k is supposed to signal the beginning, not the end, of novel burnout?

So what if I'm still 3k behind goal?

I'm gonna go have some Cub Scout popcorn, watch "Sahara", and finish sewing the dog bed.

Me, Waxing Pathetic

I don't think I've written a word since Sunday.

I just make a conscious decision each evening to ignore the novel in favor of (insert one of the following: homework, hanging out with my son, shopping, talking on the phone, watching television, sleeping.) As I was reminded a few days ago, there is still plenty of time left in November. But looking at everyone's word count still makes me feel awful.

I've had a lot of feeling awful this week. Yesterday, the anniversary of mom's passing, I was in a huge funk. It was also a full moon. And I was offered, and turned down, a really great job transfer to a full time job I would have loved. My husband nixed it, saying he really didn't want our family to have to go through the sacrifice of my working full time unless and until his job really did go away, and then only for much more money than was offered. I was just trying to be prepared. I felt awful saying "No, thanks" and that along with all the other stuff made for a pretty lousy day overall. Bleh.

I felt much better this morning when I woke up (and the moon had waned.) I have a big homework assignment due tomorrow in my Creative Writing class, and a big headache, too, but I'm going to go to a NaNoWriMo write in anyway because, hey, I'm committed. (Or should be.)

But, Isn't He the Cutest?

A Look on the Bright Side

I've written a little over 3k words this weekend but am still about 3k behind goal. If I were to write about 1800/day rather than the typical goal of 1667/day I'd still finish on time. Viewed that way it doesn't seem that bad. But all of my Friends and most of the CS NaNos who bother to post their word count are leaving me in the dust and that's bumming me out, er, I mean, motivating me!

Yes, that's right, I'm not the least bit discouraged and even more determined than ever to catch up! Woo hoo!*

In other weekend news: today was a good day not to be a Raider's fan; the local forecast includes the possibility of more snow tomorrow; I talked to my brother and between us we figured out that the anniversary of my mother's death is actually this coming week, not last week, and that both of us had spaced on that is yet another example of The Strange and Complex Grieving Brain.

You should have seen me trying to knock out one of the two last things on my to do list (otherwise known as procrastinating...) tonight.

It was a dog bed I promised my son I'd make for the puppy. I bought the material about 2 months ago, and I decided tonight's the night. So, I'm laying out and cutting the material and the puppy's grabbing one end and tearing off into the other room with it. I get it back and he does it again. I put him outside and get it cut out.

Then I have to let him back in because it's, like, 29 degrees outside, and I'm starting to sew the bed but I have to keep pushing him off my lap. Then I move to the other room and he follows me in. He decides to go terrorize the sleeping cat (who's just back on her feet after being ill.) I chase him off her and then he comes downstairs and finds the spool of thread. He runs off with it. Three times. I put him back outside and...need I go on?

Come to think of it, compared to most of the other stuff I do around here, knocking out a 50k novel should be a piece of cake.

*The foregoing is a crock.

NaNoWriMo Week Two, Rule Number Two

2. Do not go on break from your novel.

Yeah, I'm just relaxing after a helluva week. Last night I went to an open studio for a watercolorist I really admire, came home and cuddled with husband and son who are currently watching the Star Wars Series yet again (they're on number 5), and then I went to bed blissfully early. Now I'm on my way to breakfast and some holiday craft fairs with a friend.

I'm not going to stress this today because, 12 days in, I'm really missing down time with my family. I don't think I can support NaNoWriMo if I can't prove to myself that you can do it and balance the rest of your life, too. Only some days have to be insane, not all of them, eh?

Or, maybe I'm just in deep denial.

Plugging Away

Work has been hectic, but today I scored donations of Krispy Kremes and Starbucks for the large meeting I'm putting on next week. How bad could a day that ends like that be, I ask you?

Afer work I went shopping at Toys R Us -- they're having a big sale and, let's face it, Christmas shopping waits for nothing, not even NaNoWriMo. I was on sensory overload after about 10 minutes in that store, but it was worth it because it was among my last stops and now I'm about 75% finished with Christmas prep!

The whole Christmas card thing is always a hassle for me because NaNo no sooner ends than I have to scramble to get them out. Today I at least got color copies made of the photo page of my annual letter. I've actually already written much of the letter itself, as well, so I should be in good shape to get them out on time ESPECIALLY if I finish my novel early!

I'm at 15186 and at my creative wit's end for the evening. I think I found the title of my book, too, but am still mulling that one over before committing to it.

We had quite a group of hardworking novelists at Panera tonight -- 8 of us. I got about 1300 words written while there, and more at home. Feels good!

NaNoWriMo Week Two, Rule Number One

1. Do not get cocky about how easy it is to get your daily word count, unless you want to fall flat on your face.

My trusty Reportcard tells me that I've written 867 words over the last two days. Which means that, at this rate I'll finish December 5, and I have to write 4090 words to be back on track by midnight.

It's Not Easy Being Green

My son and I have had some pretty serious talks tonight. Damn, it's tough to be a kid. I think I delude myself into thinking that, because he has it so much better in so many ways than I did, that he has it easy. But, growing up in 2005 can't be easy. And apparently it isn't. It hurts not to be able to make it all better, and it's hard to be satisfied with just giving them the tools, the support, and the love they need while you stand back and watch them do the hard work of growing up.

Maybe it would've been easier to take if, just today, I hadn't gotten a glimpse in my rear view mirror of a car much like my dad's being driven by a man in a baseball hat like dad always wore, with a small woman sitting in the passenger seat beside him. It was so familiar, and for that fraction of a second I thought, "Is that them?" and felt surprised and happy followed quickly by the realization that, of course not, how could it be, they're both gone now. When that reality hits, no matter how often it's happened before it comes with a fresh jolt of, I don't know, finality.

I realize this is the one year anniversary of the week my mother died, and know enough from past experience to understand that even if I don't consciously recall it, my subconscious has noted this. I'm having trouble sleeping. I'm feeling very weepy. Today a coworker about my age introduced me to her mother who was having lunch with her and I almost couldn't speak for a few seconds. It felt like I'd been punched. I almost skipped going to the gym in favor of laying face down on the bed crying, but talked myself out of it. That may have been a mistake.

11.7 on 11/7

Wow, after the marathon writing this past weekend, doing my 1667 tonight was a breeze!

My cat is sick. $100 and a time-consuming trip to the vet later I know what she has, and why, and have pills to shove down her throat. I hope she's all better soon so I can let her out of her prison, I mean, the laundry room.

I have nothing clever or interesting to write about, so I'll just record my wordcount on day 7: 11,713.

The Neverending Day

I'm experiencing something so strange and wonderful that I'm almost afraid to say it out loud for fear of making it stop: my weekend has felt twice as long as usual. What I mean is, everytime I look at the clock I have this sensation that surely it must be later than that. I've had more time to accomplish so much more than I ever normally do on a weekend! Typically they fly by and I'm sitting there with the Sunday evening blues by the time I've blinked twice -- but not this weekend. I've caught up with my wordcount, spent time with my family, cleaned, cooked, done many achievements in my son's Cub Scout manual, sewed, spent time with my pets, written letters, answered emails, made phone calls...and the list goes on and on. It's uncanny! It's a miracle! Or at least a huge blessing.

Wouldn't it be something if it just kept going like this?

Novel Energy

Honestly, I knew I could do it but I am very relieved I was right.

It being, of course, getting back on track with my novel. Today I met up with six others at the coffee shop in my little hamlet for a write in. We did a couple of timed writings and all of us came away with many words written. I must admit I didn't think I'd enjoy the whole timed writing thing my group got into last year after I had already dropped out, but now that I've done it a few times I can see it is a very effective tool.

Anyway, the noveling energy at Stratfords was so thick it must've been felt around the whole town. I half expect my neighbors to come up to me tomorrow and say, "Gee, you know, between 3 and 5 yesterday, I had this strange urge to write a novel."

Last year one of the goodies was a stack of name tag stickers that say at the top, "Hello, my novel is" and you fill in the blank. The suggestion being of course that you can write in your novel title or complete the sentence, i.e., "...killing me." I dug them out to use again this year and mine read, "...just beginning to get fun." And that's where I'm at.

Currently, my MC has just learned The Awful Truth and is about to see a concert. She's going to get overly emotional with the lyrics of one of the songs she's going to hear and that's when she'll decide to embark upon her Road Trip. Whee!

The Perfect Shoe

I fell in love with these shoes in Taos. They're German (naturlich), and very expensive. They were like walking on air and are number one on my Christmas list.

Procrastinating? Who, me?

Progress 3

Just for the sake of consistency I'll post that I wrote for 45 minutes this afternoon while my son was playing his GameCube with a neighbor and my husband was at the gym. I managed 1485 words and then I was too sleepy to go on so I napped for about an hour (which was a rare treat, actually.)

This has been a disturbing trend the last couple of days. I'm trying to figure out why lately I get so sleepy while I write. Anybody? I don't know what's going on but I do know that it will surely spell trouble for NaNoWriMo if this trend continues.

I plan to do one more hour today, preferably before bed to guarantee a good night's sleep.

Progress 2

Went to the gym, showered, sat down to write another hour and got 1816 words. My wordcount is now 4835. If I can do two more one hour stints like this today and three tomorrow, I should be all caught up!

The snow stopped and melted, and it's raining now. And, cold.

Progress

I took Chris' advice and wrote for an hour; got a total of 1030 words. I also deleted that first chapter of the story that I didn't go with, which brought my word count down so I'm actually behind where I started an hour ago, but not by much.

I'm going to take a break now because I'm sleepy! Must drink more coffee, walk around.

Newsflash: it's begun to snow!

Climb Every Mountain...

I couldn't keep my eyes open to write last night so I only got 507 words out. But now I'm up early and motivated. Coffee's brewing, cat's fed. I'm at 3,522 words and must write 4,813 more today in order to be caught up.

At least my mc has a name now: Sarah. Folks in my local region will get that joke.

Coffee's done and I have at least half an hour before the little guy wakes up and my 'favorite noveling music' becomes Spongebob Squarepants. Wish me luck.

How Not to Start

Now that I've changed my story, I've written a bare bones synopsis and a chapter one. I haven't actually deleted that original first chapter of the "old" story but I will as soon as I'm not in danger of completely depressing myself with my miniscule, already-behind word count (3,015).

I've had a very hectic and tiring week. Stressful. Tomorrow will be more of the same, and then I plan to recover, and isn't that what weekends are for, anyway?

My husband had a colonoscopy today. Boy, wouldn't he love it if he realized I was blogging this? My father-in-law had colon cancer three years ago or so. He was a young father so he's not that much older than my husband, and he advised all his kids to have the checkup. But my husband has refused up until now. For many months into years he wouldn't even talk about it ("Will everyone stop talking about MY BUTT!" he'd scream.) My inlaws worried about it. I nagged. Then I gave up.

Finally, a month or so ago, my husband asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Guess what I said?

So, yeah, he had the procedure today. And naturally, it was a nightmare. Even his doctor was wincing and saying he felt bad at how sick my husband got. I guess he reacted poorly to it all, his blood pressure dropped, he needed IV fluids, blah blah blah. And I sat in the little chair next to his cot as he lay all curled up in pain. Talk about guilty.

However, the doctor also said it was a good thing he'd had the colonoscopy now. And with that I'll stop, as I've surely already given you Too Much Information. I think someday husband will probably be glad I insisted. (I hope I live to see that day!)

In other news, I hosted my first meet-up/write-in at the usual place. There were five of us and we wrote. I gave out goodies. Very productive. NaNoWriMo participants, here's my two cents: go to a meet up!

And Now for Something Completely Different

At 4 a.m. I awoke; I don't know what woke me but I immediately began thinking of the 1,532 words I'd written before bed and decided that my novel was B-O-R-I-N-G, and that if I was going to do this thing I was going to have to come up with a new idea.

So, that's what I did. It sort of just came to me about an hour ago, so tonight I have a synopsis of sorts. It's going to be about a young woman, a singer, who suffers a crisis and takes off to follow her favorite band. She's running, but also seeking, and of course, she's going to find something she doesn't know she's looking for.

Yes, that's right: I'm writing a road trip novel.

Now, I'm excited!

I still need to think more about who she, my MC, is...and hopefully this time my secondary characters won't steal the show, so to speak.

Shout Out

Since the website's moving too slowly to do anything besides take an excruciatingly slow peek at the Regional Lounge and post my word count, I thought I'd mention here that the new WrimoRadio story includes the Shout Out that we recorded at our Kickoff Party last week!

And Sam thanks me by name at the end, albeit the wrong name. (But that's okay, he can call me whatever he wants.)

Status: Begun!

Starting the novel wasn't as difficult as I'd imagined. I put it off forever, then this evening as my son settled down to read his obligatory 20 minutes I turned on the computer and just started to write.

I'm not usually as intimidated by a blank Word document as others seem to be, and in this case I began not at the beginning of the story, but somewhere in the middle. I had no choice, really, as I don't have a plot so how can I have a first sentence?

It's not important that my novel start on page one at this point. The only important thing is taking that first step. Or in this case, typing that first word.

It feels great!