Ugh. And Ugh.

My husband didn't get the job he interviewed for. He is so disappointed and I just don't know how to make it better.

My cold came back, worse. I guess last week was just a preview.

Something good: I finished my journal of Writing Down the Bones. It was way too much fun to read and comment on that book. Maybe after it's graded I'll post some of my entries here.

I was busy during the President's speech tonight. What'd I miss?

Yikes!

I so want this!

On Paranoia

So, we went to the tax man on Friday and the news was oh, so good. I mean, we're not getting money back or anything, but we also don't owe big time. I was so relieved and happy to hear that news.

We were given a long list of backup paperwork to prepare and have a follow up appointment to finish up this Friday.

But now, given the similar ecstatic relief/subsequent later bad news of the completed short story assignment, I'm likely going to worry all week that we walk in and the tax preparer says this:

"Oh, remember how I said I'd need to run this stuff by a senior preparer to make sure it's correct? Well, it's not! You owe $17,000 in taxes!"

Or something.

On Speaking Too Soon

Aka Counting Chickens Before They're Hatched, Putting the Cart Before the Horse, etc.

So, I'm being compulsive and wrote a just-making-sure-we're-on-the-same-page email to my writing teacher to which she replies, "No, I didn't mean you were finished..."

It turns out I need to write ANOTHER short story for that large percentage of my grade in the class!

On the one hand, I'm so glad I checked!

On the other hand, my blood pressure is rising even as I type. I hardly have time to complete the journal and five assignments due in my other class by the end of the semester! Much less a whole, separate short story for a chunk of my grade (=must be wonderful!)

Finish Poems, Check!

I am just so happy to be finished with that poetry assignment. Now I'm finishing journaling the Goldberg book. I stayed home sick from work today. My head is so congested that I have lost hearing in one ear! Bizarre, huh? Otherwise, I feel okay, just tired.

I made my husband a nice breakfast while he took the little guy to work and stopped off for some bagels. They were still warm from the oven when he got them home. Then he ran a couple more errands for me, including dropping off my new thrift shop finds at the cleaners. Acts of service is his love language, how lucky am I?

In a little while we have an appointment with the tax man. This year I get to file two returns again: one for us, and one for my deceased mother. I'm looking forward to being finished with that but I continue to feel acute anxiety when dealing with any business related to my mother's death. (Which really sucks when you're the estate trustee, let me tell you.)

I just know the accountant is going to give me a list a mile long of things I need to bring him, and of course anything related to the IRS scares the sh*t out of me. (Aw, come on, tax liability is a frightening thing, you can't tell me I'm the only one who feels that way!)

Happy Friday, one and all.

P.R.O.C.R.A.S.T.I.N.A.T.I.N.G.

So, I just pre-ordered an old friend's book which is due out in April. Even though I am insanely jealous of his first-time-out publishing success, I'm quite happy for him, as he's a natural and talented in oh, so many ways.

It's supposed to be hilarious so I have no reservations recommending that you go buy it, too!

Help! My Family is Watching Alf!

I'm escaping from the dreaded Alf: The Second Season DVD set that my son insisted on buying for my husband for Christmas (don't ask.)

Today was among my worst work days in recent history. In an effort to relax I decided to go to a thrift store. I used to love going to second hand stores, and I hadn't done so in quite some time. I looked at clothes there, which I don't usually do, and found some pretty great stuff.

The best buy was an amazing long, wool cardigan. It's black with big silver buttons; the buttons alone are to die for.

I also found two new, never-worn shirts: one Coldwater Creek and another Evan Picone, both in my current favorite green shade!

And, I bought a penguin coffee cup (I collect penguins) in a gigantic size, just right for my one cup of coffee a day, and a silver mesh box to hold my hair paraphenalia in the master bathroom.

I managed to resist many more items, most notably a late model Brother sewing machine, which took some willpower.

All in all quite a successful diversion, especially since it calmed me down immensely.

Whew. I needed that.

Now off to struggle some more with that poetry assignment.

Poet's Block

I'm really struggling to write the two poems that are due Friday. It's not that I don't have the inspiration -- for one of them, I do. It's just that, now that I know what I'm supposed to be doing, it's a lot harder than I thought it would be.

Mensch.

Pikes Peak Perks, Number Three

My son's school district has an average class size of 25 students. His school has an art and a music teacher, and he participates in a gifted and talented program. 100% of the kids at the high school he's due to attend took the ACT last year, with 58% going on to a 4 year college and another 29% to a 2 year. Though it's overcrowded, we recently voted money to build new schools, and two charter schools will open in the area in the Fall.

I'm not a Broncos fan

But, when you live here it's hard not to get caught up in the fever. It made for a pretty sad Sunday.

Other than that, it was a great weekend. It was another one of those 'home improvement' weekends, the ones that I spend doing things to make home life a little more convenient, or beautiful, or both. I usually end up feeling wistful that I'm not free to be the stay at home mom I was for so many years, so I can do stuff like this all the time instead of just on the weekends. And, of course, write. Hopefully, there'll be another chance for me to do that in the near future.

This is a big homework week. I have to finish one of the six lessons still due in class #2 and write some poetry for class #1. I am not a poet so this is going to be a challenge.

In fact the rest of the month will be heavy in the homework department. In case you haven't noticed I , er, don't have the greatest study skills. Heh.

Attention, Feds

If you'd like to listen in on my telephone conversations in the name of national security, by all means, go right ahead. I have nothing to hide, and if it will help make the country a safer place, I'm all for it.

She Likes Me! She Really, Really Likes Me!

I am just overjoyed to have received my short story back with a great grade and, the best part is, she doesn't need me to re-submit it! It's a major part of my grade for the class!

Gosh, it feels good to do something right.

Pikes Peak Perks, Number Two

Regular unleaded is currently $2.11/gallon.

Ambushed by a Book

There I was, minding my own business, reading Dave Barry Turns 40, laughing and relating to much of it, when he throws in this completely serious stuff about his aging mother. I was flabbergasted! Here's some advice for you if you're younger than me: no matter how good you are to her, when your mother dies, you are going to feel guilty. To those of us who had our moments, our selfish moments we'd like to be able to forget: sorry. You're not going to escape the guilt or regret, and you're going to have to learn how to live with it.

To Everything, Turn, Turn, Turn...

It was a banner day at work today. The new President unveiled his plan for the company's growth and all, and it was bold and sweeping to say the least. Can you say, complete reorganization and flattening of the hierarchy? It's a mouthful, and it's hard for many to swallow.

But not for me. I'm not scared of change.

The last couple of weeks have been grueling for my department, but not me so much, unless you count sympathy pains. Since I wasn't privy to the high level secret stuff, I just had to witness the others tearing their hair out. I'm glad the plan's finally out in the the open, and in motion.

The next few months will be whirlwind of activity at work.

Good news on my husband's job front, as well. He had his performance review, got a hulking raise, and has an interview for an interoffice transfer coming up, but not for a couple of weeks.

If he gets the new job, he won't be doing this shift work anymore. It'll be a regular 8-5, M-F job. He hasn't worked that schedule in more than 3 years. It will be a big change for us.

My son is really hoping for the new job for his dad. His schedule has become so much a part of our lives that I often forget that 3 or 4 days a week my son sees him for about half an hour. And I enjoy the nights of a lot less cooking when my husband's not home for dinner, but it has no upside for the little guy -- he just feels his absence.

I don't think I ever understood the pain divorce causes a child until witnessing the comfort and well-being my son derives from us being together, and whole, as a family.

Winding Down

I just sent off my second draft of the TCRB story and am nearing the end of the course and the first semester. I actually still have quite a bit of writing to do. For one thing, we're supposed to journal our way through the book, Writing Down the Bones. I've done about 1/3 of it so far. It's a book I've always avoided reading, partially because of reviews I've heard and partially because I have already read and loved other writing books, notably Bird by Bird. But I must say I'm enjoying the assignment -- it's my kind of homework, that's for sure.

We've planned a read-in for the 2005 NaNos in a couple of weeks and I'm planning to bring this story, rather than an excerpt from my 2005 NaNovel, to it. I really need some feedback on it, from fresh eyes.

Pikes Peak Perks, Number One

I thought it would be fun to blog weekly some of the things that I enjoy about living here. After all, my husband and I chose Colorado over the other 49 states when we decided to move, so obviously we felt there was much to recommend it.

Today I'd like to talk about the sunshine. Did you know there are on average 250 days of sunshine a year here? Today, for example, it was about 40 degrees, but if you were warm inside and just looked out of doors, you'd have guessed it was 75. Since I grew up on a fog-socked peninsula, I feel absolutely spoiled by all the full spectrum light.

The best days are the ones where the ground is covered with glittering snow but the sun is blaring and the sky is piercing blue. If and when clouds make an appearance, you can enjoy the spectacle of the Front Range as it transforms from slate gray to purple as it did so many years ago to inspire a certain composer, who dubbed it the mountain's 'majesty.'

Writing Balancing and Balancing Writing

I just completed a set of really great exercises to help me revise my short story, which is the heart of the novel TCRB I wrote a couple of years ago. It's really helped me to see what I need to clarify for my second draft.

I'm so in love with my little story, my character and his woes; I thought I'd gotten it out of my system a couple of years ago but apparently not. I wish I could stay home at the computer and have all the time I need to write it the way it should be written instead of going to work and writing memos that inspire no one, least of all me.

Remember those books you got when you were pregnant, like What to Expect the First Year? Now, there's a series that ended too soon. I need one for the ninth year, preferably gender-specific.

I commented to my husband the other day that our son has turned into a little boy. He's doing these behaviors that I was sort of looking for when he was around five, which, when they didn't materialize then, I thought we'd be skipping altogether. Not so.

For example, on New Year's Eve when we gave him the party gear (funny hat, noise maker, plastic lei), he stood up on his chair and started dancing around. He was singing a spontaneous rendition of the famous Spanish song about a cockroach, complete with hip and butt shaking. The other little kids joined in, all on top of their chairs. I just sat there all, Who are you, and what have you done with my son?

Before that, we had our fresh Christmas wreath delivered on a bent wire hanger. He picked up the discarded hanger and, for the next day and a half, used it as a hook hand.

And then there was this morning, when I walked into the family room to see that his cheeks were literally stuffed with Raisin Bran.

Me: "Let me guess: you're pretending you're a squirrel."
Son: (Nods)

Stuff like that.

Come to think of it, he's always been kind of a late bloomer.

Long Live the True King

I've seen The Chronicles of Narnia twice now. The first time I saw it a few days before Christmas I was real distracted and left thinking it was a good movie for kids but nothing especially notable. I often suffer from Excessive Movie Build Up Syndrome so that wasn't a big surprise.

The second time my husband wanted to see it and I basically went with so I could eat the popcorn. I was very surpised at how well I liked it that time around (though I may never be able to resolve my feelings about the creepy fawn guy...) And I really enjoyed the soundtrack.

I'm the only person I know who hasn't cried during it, though I did well up a bit during the crowning sequence the second time.

The Neverending Weirdness of Grief, con't

I'm having anxiety attacks over Ariel Sharon. He's had the same kind of stroke that killed my mother, and each time I hear an update on his condition I have flashbacks about my mother's brief time in the hospital.

Speaking of School

Speaking of school, I am still woefully behind on my homework -- but not worried yet.

I really like the flexibility of distance learning, and so far the teachers have been understanding when I need to delay a deadline.

I got some very helpful feedback from my teacher on my TCRB short story and have much to do to improve it, which I'm excited about doing. Best of all, though, she indicated she thought the story was "fun." (Yes, I'm that easy to please.)

One of the things she noticed was that I switched POV towards the end of the story, which she thought I'd done on purpose, but it was a mistake. I notice I do that from time to time, in this case going from first to third person. I generally pay a lot of attention to POV when I'm writing so it makes me wonder if it's an indication of subconsciously distancing myself from my MC. Like, my MC was showing his unsavory side, so I took a mental step away from him. Or something.

And a Happy New Year!

2006.

It just sounds like such a strange year, doesn't it? A friend was making a list of things to look forward to in the year 2006 and I couldn't think of one single item to contribute, how sad is that?

My son's still on Winter Break, so until he returns to school I won't feel the holidays are officially over. We had a very nice time off with him, and got together lots with friends, took him skiing and swimming, worked through achievements so he could advance to Bear in Cub Scouts, plus played a lot of games. I really like this stage of his life where he can play "older" board and card games, e.g., ones not featuring Winnie the Pooh characters. He's back to school on Monday.