I Wonder

The second May without my mother. I wonder how many years will have to pass before I can enjoy Mother's Day again? The thought of Father's Day is almost bearable, so I guess that means about six.

There's an Alzheimer's medication commercial running lately, evenings during the national news. It shows a woman hanging out with her older father, giving him concerned looks, walking slowly beside him. It feels like a punch in the stomach everytime I see it.

Yesterday, inexplicably, I was remembering my mother's voice, her laugh, things she did like the funny way she rubbed her eyelashes -- things from earlier days when she was healthy, chubbier...younger.